Sandra's Thoughts

Giving up control

This is the time in our lives when we have the most to live for – the 20’s. Being millennials is the hardest it has ever been especially in 2017. There are no jobs for the recently graduated(unless you are rich or you know someone), love is getting more complicated by the day, doing what you love is getting trickier due to the rat race etc. Sometimes one feels like they are going to give up, heck who am i kidding, all the time. We are trapped in the web of expectations – the parents want us to be the best(as they were), the peers are all a million miles ahead of us hence the pressure to keep up with them and not forgetting ourselves with the 5 or 10 year plan we thought by now would be halfway materializing. We tend to be harder on ourselves when we feel like we are the ones who are letting ourselves down. The internal dialogue goes a little like this:
Me: Sarah has done so well for herself. She has a good job, a man who loves her and the house she always talked about in high school.
Inner me: You should have thought about that before getting preggers for Joe,you knew he was a bum but still planted yourself there like a weed.
Me: I thought he was the one, we were so in love.
Inner me: Please….He was cheating on you with Hayley and you forgave him. You should have concentrated on your books.
Me: I tried but i was not in a good place, emotionally.
Inner me: Excuses, Excuses… You are worthless. Joe saw that and that is why he left your ass.
Me: You are right me, I am worthless. Why should i get anything good and yet i screw it all up. I am sure it was my fault it never worked out with Joe.

This is just but one of the many conversations that we have with ourselves and we ruin our self esteem all on our own. The pressure to not make mistakes because others have not is what is hurting us. We need to embrace the fact that shit happens …. to everyone,even that perfect Sarah in your life. At least you learn that early when you can change the outcome of your life. We can never be able to be in charge of how things turn out, It hurts but we have to let life happen. Live life like a baby does, learning and using the lessons to be better than they were tomorrow.
Love Sandra.


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