Once upon a time I was in love with a man who i never thought i would be without in my life. It was true love to me and i knew that i would give up anything to have him in my life forever. I had already planned out our future, the wedding, the house, the number of kids, the kind of schools we would take them to, the vacations, the car and so on. I was so certain that nothing could change that feeling in my heart and that was just naive.
Looking back at the many years i wasted caring about one thing only for it to not pen out tore me to pieces. I did not know what to do after we broke up but cry and wonder whether i was going to make it. I always knew that if all else failed, i had that one thing. I knew that he would stay with me regardless of all that happened in our lives. Making these plans were very innocent and looking back from what i know now should have not been the only thing i focused on.
You might think that he was the one that did something wrong from all the ranting i am doing but we all made the same mistakes. I think it was cause we were young and immature but it might have been because i forced him to be my soulmate. He loved me and i him but from this side of time, i am sure it is cause we were not meant to be, at least not yet. Love is hard and it needs a lot of work. It might be the most beautiful feeling and might even be the closest w come to magic but it can kill and maim.
Being in love with the first man you date is truly amazing and it is even better if he feels that same way. It sucks if the love eventually fades or burns out completely but it teaches you the value of love and the importance of nourishing it. It is not just a two dimensional feeling but a living thing. If it is not acknowledged, cared for, groomed…..it dies.